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Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Tool of the Day: Melvin Guillard

Melvin Guillard gets my first nomination as Tool of the Day for his recent interview published in the Baltimore Sun. Here are a few excerpts displaying the fantasy world Melvin resides in and why he is such an asset to a company trying to shed the public perception that this is a sport full of thugs.

"So, in a way, it sounds like you don’t even think he won the fight.

He really didn’t. He didn’t take my heart. I took his heart before he got in the ring. He was scared to fight me before he got in the ring. And, it’s like I tell everybody – and I’m going to keep saying it – when I see him again, I’m going to fight him again. When I get ready to go home for Mardi Gras, he just knows not to be seen. I went home for New Years and the places he wants to go, he wasn’t even there. He knew I was going to be there looking for him. He never showed up anywhere. As long as he keeps hiding from me, running from me, I’m winning the war every day. Eventually, we’ll get another rematch in the UFC ..."

"After Clementi won, he did that crotch grab and that pissed you off. But, after all that trash talking, can you kind of understand why he did that?

No, I can never understand that and nobody is ever going to make me understand that. He disrespected me after the fight. He put his nuts on the back of my head. When I catch him, I’m going to kick him in his [expletive deleted] nuts. I can’t look at that and respect that. Because of the beef we have? Naw, I can’t. That’s honestly like me seeing him next time ... and I spit in his face. My dad always told me if a man spit on you or slapped you, [expletive deleted] kill him. And if he put his nuts on my head on national TV, I’m going to [expletive deleted] kill him, period. So, there’s no way I’m ever going to overlook that and be like, “Naw, it’s cool because we were having problems.” Hell no. I ain’t ever gonna let another man do that to me and get away with it.

As far as the fight, though, honestly, I was going to be the bigger man about it and give him that victory -- congratulate him on his win -- but let him know that we’re still not friends and we’re going to fight again. But, as I’m getting up, it’s like he kicked me in the back of the neck, and it pushed me back down a little bit. So, I’m like, “What the [expletive deleted]?” And, I jump up like, “No, he did not just put his nuts on my neck.” So, that’s why I went after him like I did.

I had a few opportunities where I could have hit him but I had just got off an eight month suspension from [president] Dana [White] and the UFC and the [Nevada State Athletic] Commission. I wasn’t going to be stupid and let him win again by me putting my hands on him and then they dock me some more pay. If I had done that to him, he’d still be winning. So, I just kind of let it go, let it ride just for now. Just for now."

This is my favourite part..."I wanted to fight Roger Huerta, but they said he’s on vacation right now. So, that fight’s up in the air. "..."Whoever they give me the next fight, I’m hoping and praying it’s a striker ... hopefully fight a couple of strikers. Give the crowd what they came to see me do best. The people come to see me stand up and trade punches ‘til I knock someone out. When I’m fighting and struggling to get guys off my back, to try to keep me off the ground, it takes away from what I’m really good at -- for the fans. With that, I’m hoping I get a decent fight next time around."

If the crowd wanted to watch a boxing match Melvin they would watch, well boxing. Now I know your not going to believe this but the fans didn't all come to see you win and the UFC is not just gonna feed you "cans" to KO and then give you the title, no matter how much you think you deserve it. Congratulations you are the tool of the day.


  1. "He put his nuts on my head." - Melvin Guillard, Tool.

  2. You know I call him a tool in keeping with the sarcastic attitude of this site but you can't help but feel sorry for this kid. He's had some horrible role models growing up and has no idea what it means to be a man. Clementi and his nuts should have probably shared the honorable tool title with Mel.

  3. "He didn’t take my heart. I took his heart before he got in the ring. He was scared to fight me before he got in the ring."

    If he was scared, he would've have taken the fight and made you tap!

  4. Good call for tool of the day. If Clementi's nuts really struck Mellvin on the back of the head then that dude must have some big nuts, because I thought he was a little far for actual nuts on the head. Melvin, kiss my ass you tool. Personally I hope he does get a shot at Huerta, so he can get his stupid ass kicked again.

  5. if Guillard fights Huerta again, he'll be tapping for a 3rd time!


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